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Colossians 3:18 Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
It’s not about hierarchy. Jesus turns everything we think we know about authority, power, relationship dynamics, and cultural norms upside down and bids us consider again the meaning of subjection, submission, and will.
Early in my forty-six year marriage to Pam, I tried to call the shots. Often, I ended up eating crow because Pam was wiser than I, and we’d have been better off if I’d done as she suggested. We learned what we were—and weren’t—good at doing and gave each other mutual respect and space. We both lead and follow; we both exercise authority and serve. It’s a back-and-forth, mutual thing. I think that’s what a Christian marriage looks like.
So who’s in charge here? Jesus residing in Pam’s heart and mine—the server and the servant. That’s who calls the shots.
Today the Church remembers Monnica, Mother of Augustine of Hippo, 387.